I saw an advert by a Solar Inverter Company: No Light No Love. It was a Valentine promo advert compelling ladies to turn down proposals from men who live in apartments without stable light supply. On a deeper level, I also believe that a man should be or have a constant source of life light. A dark minded man will enter some debts in decisions that you will never earn enough to offset!
The first husband, Adam, needed help. He was in a need mode before God offered him Eve. You cannot help a man who doesn’t see himself in need of you. Men only love what/who meets their real needs; it is only needs that keep men humble and glued. If he doesn’t acknowledge his need of you: emotionally, spiritually, socially, intellectually, he will never place premium on your sacrifices even if you kill yourself for him. Arrogant men don’t acknowledge their needs and will never appreciate other people’s sacrifices in their lives.
The first thing most ladies lose in marriage is their identity. The right man must give you a true identity. Eve was nameless until Adam Christened her. It’s not just about swapping your surname for his, it’s about calling out your being and essence. He must be proud to share who he is with who you are: “bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh”! Identity is the only tag that defines what you’re made of. He affirms your bone strength and can relate with your flesh feelings. He doesn’t just tap your strength and abandon your feelings. He knows and defines your two realities as a woman!
Men are naturally highly secretive. You can easily psyche up a “common woman” to protest nakedly or pose bare in front of camera for a stipend. Only mad men walk nude without shame. I know men who can never have sex with their wives during the day or while the light is on! However, the right man is transparent without any masculine shame!
The right man has NOTHING to hide! His wife knows his “passwords”!
- Pastor Ayooluwa Oloyede, Coordinator Men of Purpose Network, Ibadan